the assessment

it has been almost 6 month since i started working and it is nearing the end of probation period. the date will be 18 Feb 2009 for all to be revealed whether im good enough to be an employee or will i be extended for another 3 month probation period. to tell the truth, i cant really tell what i had done in the past 6 months that are contributing to the success of the project. not from my eyes did i see any achievement that i had made, but people keep saying that i've done that and this. but i really2 can see what is that and this. but i can say that i did help my superior in a few things, that i think at least can give him room to breath for a while. things that i done are to small to be appreciated, and im not satisfied with it. i want to do more but coz of my ages and experience it limited my capabilities. my superior that say that im having a mindset and strategies of a level higher that my position. u must learn to crawl first before u can walk or even run. it keep me thinking that, if u have the change to speakup would u take it for ur advantage to show others that u are capable of doing things higer than ur capabilities ? will it b an advantage for u, or will others take advantage over u ? sometimes it make me wonder why some people are climbing their career path much faster than others. is it because they are talented ? or mayb they have the advantage compared with others ? or is it she/he is a 'kakikipas boss' ? i've met some seniors and superiors that say, u can dream to be somebody but the real world would let u be. so i keep asking myself, should i dreams to be somebody and work my ass like hell to achive it or must i just relax and go with the flow coz in the end it will still lead to the open sea.

sometimes, it makes me wonder. why are there bad guys and good guys. why some people live their lives thru the books and some live it by their own rules. why do we have to ignore things although we know that it is wrong no matter what it brings. do we really need to make this world a better place...

coz all things will eventually GONE...