the assessment

it has been almost 6 month since i started working and it is nearing the end of probation period. the date will be 18 Feb 2009 for all to be revealed whether im good enough to be an employee or will i be extended for another 3 month probation period. to tell the truth, i cant really tell what i had done in the past 6 months that are contributing to the success of the project. not from my eyes did i see any achievement that i had made, but people keep saying that i've done that and this. but i really2 can see what is that and this. but i can say that i did help my superior in a few things, that i think at least can give him room to breath for a while. things that i done are to small to be appreciated, and im not satisfied with it. i want to do more but coz of my ages and experience it limited my capabilities. my superior that say that im having a mindset and strategies of a level higher that my position. u must learn to crawl first before u can walk or even run. it keep me thinking that, if u have the change to speakup would u take it for ur advantage to show others that u are capable of doing things higer than ur capabilities ? will it b an advantage for u, or will others take advantage over u ? sometimes it make me wonder why some people are climbing their career path much faster than others. is it because they are talented ? or mayb they have the advantage compared with others ? or is it she/he is a 'kakikipas boss' ? i've met some seniors and superiors that say, u can dream to be somebody but the real world would let u be. so i keep asking myself, should i dreams to be somebody and work my ass like hell to achive it or must i just relax and go with the flow coz in the end it will still lead to the open sea.

sometimes, it makes me wonder. why are there bad guys and good guys. why some people live their lives thru the books and some live it by their own rules. why do we have to ignore things although we know that it is wrong no matter what it brings. do we really need to make this world a better place...

coz all things will eventually GONE...

life is a wheel...

last saturday (3rd Jan 2009) was the wedding of one of my friends here in shah alam. the ceremony was held at INTEKMA. its a beautifully planned ceremony, so beautifully i feel like a VIP when i arrive there. i dont know how others feel, but thats how i feel. there are man n women in tradisional dress holding walkie-talkie ( i thought there were real VVIP going to attend the wedding...) keep updating one n another. "Meja 19, dua kosong, dua kosong"...
n so we were seated by this beautiful young (or old, i dont know) ladies just on the right side of the pelamin. anip were there joining us for a moment b4 he went outside to get ready as the bride bestman. n so me, bullet, jat, afiq & fiza pun gi la amik makanan. when we were there to pick the food, im actually searching for the 'nasi minyak' but i cant find it. yg ada hanya nasi putih n nasi kismis (ni dah macam org jawanye wedding je ni) so what the hell, i take the nasi kismis n continue my journey thru the line. before that, at the table me & jat had a planned to stay long n eat as many round as we can and so when it is my turn to scoop the food i only take a little here n there so that i can go for another round after that.
settle je pas amik makanan kitaorg sume pun dudukla kat meja, sambil2 makan tu sempatla kitaorg berborak2 sket2. habis je makan, tiba2 ada makcik ngan anak dara (dara kot) dia yg berkebaya hijau datang duduk ngan kitaorg. disebabkan taknak buat byk sgt dosa kering (hahahahahahaha...) kitaorg pun decidela nak bla lu, afiq pun mmg nak bla awal sbb dia ada lagi satu wedding kat putrajaya. kuar2 je pintu depan tu, terjumpa ngan bapak pengantin yg juga bapak anip. disebabkan panic taktau nak wat ape aku pun salamla dia sambil ckp 'congrats uncle...' pastu tak pasal2 disebabkan takde idea nak ckp ape, aku trus ckp 'pasni mamat ni lak uncle' sambil tunjuk kat bullet, hahahah... disebabkan kan tu kitaorg pun mendapatla syarahan khas sambil dipeluk erat bapak anip, huhu...
a few minutes after that, i hear the kompang for a far. the 'pengantin' are ready n already heading to the hall with all the 'pengantin perempuan'nye family.





surprisingly i met one of my old friend from s18 n UTP C.Fariza Zuki among the crowd. she wear a red baju kurung or kebaya i cant tell (coz im trying to confirm is that her or not) n so i sms her n walla, it is her. unfortunately i havent got the time to meet her coz im alteady on my way back to do some other thing.



opppsssss, before i terlajak lebe jauh, here are the story of the 'Crew Papan Tanda'

the night before the wedding ceremony, me, bullet, jat & anip went all around shah alam to put in the signboard to the hall. down below are some of the picture i've taken using my hp since we all forgot to bring a camera.





the 'Crew Papan Tanda' has teach me one lesson, n wake me up to the fact that. the cycle are getting near to my generation, batch or group. time passing by one by one the people that i grow up with, be friend with are getting married n starting a new chapter in their life. there will be one day where i will be missing all the good and bad time that i had with all my friends before we all starting a new life. but life must go on cause

'LIFE IS A WHEEL'...

The very2 first thing...

first of all,

i would like to wish all selamat menyambut maal hijrah n a happy new year.

as usual, new year eve plan would be to watch the KLCC firework. we had plan to meet at nasi ayam dara taman melati as usual. it is the official ghatering point for all of us. i'll be travelling with my b from shah alam with train since my car are being used by my parents to go to penang. taking into account it was a new year eve, i bet its going to be a 'tin sardin' in the komuter during this time. n i was right, it was packed like hell n no one were upholding any of the good deeds or attitude that had been thought by their parents or teacher or mayb friends. when it come to boarding the komuter every man is for himself, it doesnt matter u r old, pregnant, OKU or anything similar to it. people just dont care the only thing that they had in their mind is to get their both feet in the train... i intentionally write only feet, because that is the only body part that they can put in the train. it doesnt matter if u butt a sticking out from the train, ur bag are hanging between the door or even ur child are squeeze like a toy. as long as u get ur feet in there u'll be ok. the most amazing part is, even the highly educated people ( i guess by the way they dress) are showing the same mindset. i guess we still had a looooong way to go before we can achieve any dreams we ever imagine, if this is the kind of mindset and attitude that will be the force behind it. ok, back to my story. we arrive at taman melati station at about 8.30 (i guess) and we had our dinner there while waiting for others to come. abg wan were also there with his housemate i guess. an hour later uruk, sakilah, imah, kema and rahman arrive. it has been a long time since the last time i hang around with them. we had a few chat while waiting for another group (matno & matyo). when all had arrive we begin our journey at 11.15 heading to Bukit Ampang if im not mistaken again. from Taman Melati to Bukit Ampang would take about 10mins if ur car can fly, hahahaha...

when we arrive at the hill side, cars are already stuck n local authorities are dozens by numbers. it was 11.45 at that time n everybody r trying to sneak a way thru. to make the situation worse. we were still at the hill sharp 12am when the firework started, we only managed to see the flares in between trees and police 'black maria' truck blocking the road to set-up a road block. even by the glimpse, the fireworks are so beautifull and colourfull. after the firework has ended, some of us decided to push ahead and reach the planned spot n so we did. i dont know if u have ever seen it, but the KL sceneries there are so so so so beautifull.




with the streets light indicating the roads that connect the places, sky scrapers shining bright with its light, houses are dimly shining do not want to be leave behind and the sky were shower with stars and spotlight. personally i dont mind not being able to see the fireworks, coz i got something better than what i've planned for. thanks to my b coz she did remind me to bring my camera n it worth it.

while we were enjoying the view, something happen... n that something is absolutely 'THE VERY2 FIRST THING...'

Malam Aidilfitri...

Its now 3.52am, 1st Oct or 1st Syawal… skrang ni aku kat rumah tumpangan cik zul (pakcik daus) ngan anip ngan daus, 2 2 tgh lena tido dlm kegelapan malam sbb takde letrik. Asal takde letrik, wa pun taktau… kenape mlm syawal im not with my family kat sg.penchala (kampungku) ? sbb aku nak kena amik dea kat klia at 6am on the 1st syawal, she will be flying in from melbourne,Australia. Actually she is not coming home for the 3rd time to celebrate raya with us, it is my idea to bring her home coz I feel like it. I’ve decided to do so when I receive my first salary late in the September. I never did give it a second thought actually, mayb because im xcited from my first payment. I just wanna make this raya special by gathering all my siblings. I don’t know what r my parents reaction will b actually, especially my father. It is bad enough that im disappearing during the raya eve plus not answering the phone call from both my parents. I know it wont go smooth especially with my father. He got this really2 bad temper when he is not in control of things.getting back to the stories, the original plan was to make a surprise to all my family with dea welcoming homes, but unfortunately dea gi bgtau adamm pasal plan ni n so there r 2 mastermind in this dirty little secret, huhu… o0o0o0o the reason why im disappearing is because, somehow I got the feelings that if I stay at sg.penchala, the chances for me to go and pick-up dea from klia at 6am would be very2 slim and that’s why I decided to go this way n I know that my parents will b outrageous t’row. Not knowing what to come, I don’t hope much whats going to happen t’row even with dea present. On the contrary I should have discuss this matter with adamm first cause it would involve him too. When I got a msg from adamm earlier, he told me that both my parents r very2 angry n as always it would be my father. He also told me that mama got the worst side of it, because my father don’t have anyone else to blame, she will get all the splash. I don’t really know whats wrong with my parents, it just seem to me that they care to much, mayb because they r still young n want to get involve in all the matters pertaining their children. I don’t blame them for that n actually im very2 lucky to have that kind of parents who bout their children, but when things are too much it kinda ‘serabut’ when u r trying to build ur own live n something getting in the way, I don’t know about u guys out there but to me it got to stop before something worse happen. Not saying that Im good enough to be by myself but things change n something u just have to let it go for it to expand and develop. Hopefully that im not doing the wrong things that I will regrets later. I love my family especially my mama, I’ve seen what she has gone thru all this years n yet she still strong… I really hope that I will get the same girl that one day will be my wife, who will always stay by my side no matter what like my mama…

Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir & batin…

the first fruit...

its has been along time since i write anything... just updating those who r not updated, hahaha... im currently working at KLCC for goverment, yup not petronas. im in the ECERDC, 'East Coast Economic Region Development Council'. not a technical field, not even close to mechanical n the best part is, i dont have any idea what is it AT ALL !!!... it has been a month now since i join the workforce, adala sket2 clue keje ape yg aku wat ni. rupa2nye aku ni jadi mcm economist, town planner, farmers, nelayan, penternak dan mcm2 lagila... bayangkan the first meeting i join was about 'GOAT'... just imagine how my face will be like, dahla tak pernah2 tau pasal kambing. menganga jela dlm meeting. tapi status kena jaga. org ckp kita angguk je (buat2 cam paham) hahahha... dugaan pertama dalam bekerja yg ku terima ialah berpuasa, alhamdulillah ku lalui dgn sempurna walaupun ada gakla sket2 dugaan dari rakan2, hahahaha... ermmmm, lama seyhhh tak menulis takde ideala pulak... okla we'll meet again later... daa~~~

we only live once

alhamdulillah after 5 wonderful years in UTP, im finally graduating on the 24th August. dont really know whether to be happy or sad, imagining myself for the next 5years where i'll be working 5days a week for 4 weeks a month and 12 month per year. starting a new chapter in live, a new beginning for a new adventure. cant really tell whether im fully equipped with all the knowledge needed to cross this sea of obstacle and problems. hoping the best from whatever that may come, i pray that im ready to face the real working world. looking back thru time, 5 years in UTP with the boys and a few mechegirls, we've gone far and long way back from foundation. we were the first batch experimenting with the foundation program. we're also the first batch that undergo the 4year degree program. getting used to be the white lab rat for the goverment, we have evolve n adjusted to the environment. all the boys & girls of 1985 are born tough and flexiable. reminiscing all the memory with the people of UTPMAY03, i've gain countless experience that teach me to be stronger, matured and openminded. within our batch itself, there are people within different view, attitude, personality n faces too. the differences are the special characteristic of our batch. we blend together in perfect harmony, and no doubt there are time when we argue things because of the differences that each individual has. but yet again, in the end, we come back strong than ever, unite under the same banner, ignoring the differences and all the dissimilarities. to all my batch, cherish all the memory, laughter and tears coz...

we only live once...

now i realize...

after finishing the last paper on the 27th may, i realize that im graduating from this university. DEMN !!!... habis dah ke 5 thn degree kat sini, hahaha... almost can believe it, but its true IM DONE !!! yahooo... after settleing (taktaula btul ke tak ejaan tu...) a few stuff which include FYP hardbound and clearance form, im free at last... lepastu ape lg, kena blk rumahla BIG BOSS & MA'AM besar dah panggil. the day i was driving home with my b~~~, i also receive the result for my pet interview. thank god i got recommended which i really2 hope so. but still it doesnt secure me a job with pet, and that still make me worried a bit. on that day also, i got to know that few of my friend didnt get recommended by pet. they were really2 dissapointed with the result, n i share with them the sadness. but life has to go on no matter what happen. ok, back to the story where im driving with my b~~~. actually there is a third person in the journey which is Mr. Madno, he was riding my b~~~ motorcycle with us. i feel pity for him because it was raining that day (takpe madno, keje nanti aku belanjer McD). aaaaaaaaaaa !!! malasnye nak tulis dlm BI, tukar BM lakla... bila sampai je kat s.a, kitaorg punggah barang2 aku ngan madno sbb madno akan tido kat sini lu. pastu kitaorg gerak gi sunway carik rumah sewa b~~~. rumah tu dia sewa ngan member2 dia gak, kebetulan ramai dak2 tu housemate dia time sem ni. lepas b~~~ bg alamat, kitaorg pun mula mencari, nasib baik rumah tu tak brape susah sgt nak carik sbb dia dekat ngan sekolah rendah sunway. sampai je kat rumah tu,kitaorg pun punggahla pulak brg2 b~~~. punyala byk barang2 dia, aku ngan madno wat 3 trip naik rumah sewa tu (nasib baik tingkat 1, kalau tak...). siap punggah kitaorg pun blkla ke s.a, dlm perjalanan tu jauh kat sudut hati ni rasa sedih n happy menjelma. sedih sbb pasni susah nak jumpa dia n happy sbb subang ngan s.a dekat je... huhuhu... so the next day (uikkk, BI la pulak...) it is official that im now a 'penganggur' hahahahaha... n the most important thing is, IM BROKE !!!...