Counting days down...

starting from today (1 Mei) its gonna be exactly 1 month and 10 days before 'THE BIG DAY'. have all the preparaton been done ? to tell you the truth, i dont really know. am i nervous ? maybe a little bit coz i dont feel a thing YET !!!.

MARRIAGE... what does it mean or more like, what is it ?

'How old are you ?'
"25"
'Ooooo, isn't too young to get marriage ?'
"really ?"

so the question is now, when is the right time to get married ? a parents will say...

'after finishing your study'
'after you get a job and earning a decent and stable income'
'after you have RM30k - 40k in your bank'

i've once watch a video posted in FB by one of my cousins, the ustaz is giving its preaching regarding life ( i cant really remember the title of the video). he was saying about how a boy turning into a man, and the changes he is going thru. one day the father call for his boy and say...

'son, dont you ever think of marriage till you are working'

the son who is physically and mentally changing into a man, which will then require as what other man need a partner in life will then slowly been depress. as what the ustaz was saying...

'when the father is with his wife in the night, the eldest son who are becoming a man is sleeping alone which is good, but what if the son is out on the street banging some girl ???...'
'it is the responsability of the father to facilitate the son in the transation into a man world, not by putting some restriction but to put in effort in assisting him to face the world...'

thus that make you think again ???...

so i guess it is not a question of...

are you ready to get married ?
are you capable of feeding someone daughter ?
do you have RM30k - 40k in your bank ?
can you carry the roles and responsability of a man, husband, father and house leader ???

every parents will want the best for their children, but is it the best for them ? nowadays the cost of marriage are increasing day by day. those in the early days have to spent about RM10k but now people are spending nearly RM40k on average for matrimonial ceremony.

after all it is not about the money, its about uniting two souls who are in needs of one another. marriage are happening all around the world, among the poor, black, white, old and young. thousand of year, even before the existing of money it self. so it is clear that it is not about the money.

to me, marriage is like going to school for the first time without the age requirement. you dont prepare to go to school, you are never ready to go to school. you just go, and slowly you adapt. so what so different about marriage ?...

A giant leap...

it all have been planned...

We've been together for more than 4 years now, knowing her since her first semester in the university. we share the same interest in outdoor activities and join the same club all the way till graduation. never knew that she is the one, two years younger and the first in her family.

along our journey, i've always been attracted to her in what ever she is doing, its hard to explain even harder to put it in words. sometime she can be very difficult to understand yet sometime she can be very unpredictable. a lot of thing that i learn from her that is the main reason of who i am today making me realize that she is a part of me.

and now, both of us are working and entering the next stage of our live. on the 19th Feb 2010, we are officially engage and will be married insyallah in the month of June 2010.

starting fresh and new...

i've been working for almost a year now, and been attach to a project that is totally different from my field. at first, it was very difficult to understand the project and its components. with the help from a very supporting superior and dedicated team, i manage to grasp the fundamental element of the project and become one of the focal person for the subject matter. it was a great experience to be a part of a team that shares a very noble objective in helping the needed to improve their life. thru out the project implementation, i've learn a lot about the people, their culture, lifestyle, hardship they have to go thru to survive in the never ending race to a better life, their dreams and the story of their life. it really open up my mind and heart, that we should really be thankfull for what we have and always try our best to share the happyness with someonelse. but i guess the hardest part of a relationship is the separation, it should have happen long ago but i was spare due to the urgency and priority of the project. but it has finally catchup with me and it is time for me to go. some people say, the wound will heal but the scar will remain. not a word can describe the feeling of losing some thing that you hold so dear to your heart, i've seen it take off with much trouble and challenges but yet we manage to reach the sky. from paper work to on gound work, i've seen and been thru it together. the story of the project will always be remembered as mine. if only i can, i would really like to thank all the people involve direct or indirect in the project coz it has teach me a very valuable lesson and experience that i will carry thru out my career.

thank you and wish you all the best...

seharian ku di Kuantan

macam biasa aku kena gi Kuantan tuk attend meeting/accompany some important personel/progress meeting and bla bla bla. nak kata teruk, takdela teruk sangat tapi memandangkan di bulan yang mulia ni (Di mana semua umat islam sedang berpuasa) terasa gakla kalau kena travel. kalau travel from one point to another aku rasa still ok lagi, but my travelling agenda is between more than 1 point separated within 1 hour travelling with car (alone) is quiet exhausted actually. but what to do, live have to go on lalala~~~...



sampai je kat airport at about 10am trus ke kaunter HAWK (car rental), ada lak foreigner mane tah tgh argue ngan mamat kat kaunter tu. aku pun selit2 la dgr, rupanya dia org ter'xciden'kan kete yang dia org sewa so tgh nego pasal payment. nasib baik ada staff dia yang sorang lagi tu perasan n cam aku. dia pun bawakla aku kat kete yg telah diperuntukkan (not as expected).



sebagai seorang yang agak menepati masa, mcm biasa aku terawal tuk attend meeting yg dah di arrange so aku gi la tgk site lu. hasil titik peluh bos aku ngan bos2 yg lain dah makin membuahkan hasil, ape yg kitaorg bayangkan selama ni dah makin dekat nak jadi kenyataan.



pok pek pok pek... lepas 2 jam lebih akhirnya meeting pun habis. aku dahla mengantuk gila (maklumla pose driving takle nak hisap rokok) siap le tido lagi time tgh2 drive ke hotel. sampai hotel je ZZZzzz~... sedar2 je dah kul 5.30, uruk pun call and we went out for berbuka. habis je buka, patah balik ke hotel maka terlantangla kami kekenyangan (confirm2 terawikh tak gi, huhu...)



its was nice to have someone to talk to, thanks uruk ^.^

The grass are always greener on the other side

Just a few months ago, i was an engineering student. People say that varsity or campus life is the time of ur life. The world is yours for u to take, nothing seems to be impossiable, everything is colourful, cheerful and wonderfull. All the good times and good things seem to fall in place when u r in ur student era. N the best part is, u are pay to have all this entertainment, althought we all know that we are supposed to study and get a good pointer. during my time, the money that flow in are so big that we all are having a culture shock like they say it. If u dont believe me, look at this numbers and statistik. 100% out of my batch, 5% drop of (quit), 10% change courses (a few even change course more that once), 5% extend sem and the balance manage to grad on time. Even within the graduate, there numbers and figures. From my observation, half of them (including me) didn't make the 3.00 pointer. But who care, as long as u grad n finish ur study in time. Im very2 lucky that i didnt push my credits into extra sem, eventhought i know my last sem would not be the dream final sem as others because numbers of my subjects are so damn many. I register my last sem subjects and never look back again. At that time how i wish i can finish my study as soon as possiable and start making my own money with working. I hate student life, i hate books, i hate lecture room n i hate everything there is about being a student.

But its all have past now, im now a proud employee of an organization that is well known thru out the world. It was fun and a relive to know that u r know working and earning a decent money for ur living. But things aren’t always good when u are living in the big community world. Everything know difference and there is nothing that u can be sure of. U just have to ride the living wave and face anything that they throw to you. No more mister nice guy, u r all alone and on ur own once u step into the world of profession. It is know that I realize, what people are saying now suddenly felt so right, student life is the best. Although u have no money but at least u have the total control of ur live. u’ll never have to answer to anyone, u don’t have a boss, u don’t have a KPI to meet, u don’t have to worry what people are saying bout u at the back. U don’t have to be a puppet, hipocrit and many more. U can just be yourself, do what u like, get what u want. But that’s all are different once u are working, have a career. It is true and will always do

The grass are always greener on the other side…

My special task

Today i went to the office with a mission given by my superior. The mission is to set-up a team of relevan agency to identify the site for my sheep rearing activity for pekan agropolitan project in 24 orang asli villages. For the past few days, i've been thinking and strategizing how to execute this special mission. Since its involve orang asli, the only agency responsible will be the jabatan hal-ehwal orang asli or JHEOA. I've met its officer last wednesday after office hour near their headquarter. I've also met the 2nd man of JHEOA last thursday, he suggest that we call an urgent meeting with the pahang JHEOA office director the next day. And so we had the meeting. To cut it short, the meeting was succesful and we know already have a team that will execute this task before the dateline 17 march. Im glad that everything that i've plan for are working and hopefully next thursday i'll be going to kuantan to have a follow-up meeting with the team. Im glad that i didnt dissapoint my superior as he had given me the chance to prove myself that i can handle things by my own. A challenging mission as i had to deal with the agency and meeting important person to execute the mission, and at the same time its a valuable experience to me.

the assessment

it has been almost 6 month since i started working and it is nearing the end of probation period. the date will be 18 Feb 2009 for all to be revealed whether im good enough to be an employee or will i be extended for another 3 month probation period. to tell the truth, i cant really tell what i had done in the past 6 months that are contributing to the success of the project. not from my eyes did i see any achievement that i had made, but people keep saying that i've done that and this. but i really2 can see what is that and this. but i can say that i did help my superior in a few things, that i think at least can give him room to breath for a while. things that i done are to small to be appreciated, and im not satisfied with it. i want to do more but coz of my ages and experience it limited my capabilities. my superior that say that im having a mindset and strategies of a level higher that my position. u must learn to crawl first before u can walk or even run. it keep me thinking that, if u have the change to speakup would u take it for ur advantage to show others that u are capable of doing things higer than ur capabilities ? will it b an advantage for u, or will others take advantage over u ? sometimes it make me wonder why some people are climbing their career path much faster than others. is it because they are talented ? or mayb they have the advantage compared with others ? or is it she/he is a 'kakikipas boss' ? i've met some seniors and superiors that say, u can dream to be somebody but the real world would let u be. so i keep asking myself, should i dreams to be somebody and work my ass like hell to achive it or must i just relax and go with the flow coz in the end it will still lead to the open sea.

sometimes, it makes me wonder. why are there bad guys and good guys. why some people live their lives thru the books and some live it by their own rules. why do we have to ignore things although we know that it is wrong no matter what it brings. do we really need to make this world a better place...

coz all things will eventually GONE...